Another Walmart story
by Dark Goddess013
Summary: I know this plot has been done to death but I love these stories so I wanted to give it a shot. Bella, Alice and Emmett go to Walmart and mayhem happens. Please read and reveiw.
1. Getting kicked out of Walmart!

Another Walmart story

Round 1

Alice's Pov

"Come on Bella, let's have some fun please!?" I pleaded with her and she sighed before nodding

"Thank you! Now trust me and drink this." I ordered and she hesitantly did as told, downing it

"3, 2, 1." I counted down and she started jumping up and down, hyper and I threw her on my back and Emmett and I booked to Walmart. This was going to be fun!

[At Walmart]

We walked into the store and I took out the list I had found on the internet and told Bella to pick one which she did

"Ok Bells, go do it." I told her and she ran off and we ran after her with my video camera tapping her while she darted around humming not noticing the people looking at her strangely when a man walked up to her and asked if she was alright and she tackled him to the ground, yelling "Noooooooo!" before getting up and curtsied before running off, giggling with us following her.

"My turn!" I sang before looking through the list and picking number 4

I grabbed a tube of wrapping paper before sneaking behind this man and…

'WHACK!'

"OUCH!" The man squealed (rather girlishly) rubbing his ass before turning around, glaring at me

"I challenge you to a duel, girlish sir." I declared, brandishing my tube like a sword and he stared at me like I was insane so to prove that I wasn't so I did what any sane, rational person would do… and started whacking him with the tube. I might have gotten a little carried away seeing as he was curled up in a little ball, crying for his mommy to save him although Emmett and Bella seemed to be loving it cause they were laughing their asses off. So I- being the generous vampire that I am- let him go and boy did he run like a girl with his arms flapping on each side of him. [A\N: Think Cam from Modern Family.]

"You crazy bitch!" He yelled back

"You better run!" I yelled at him, throwing the tube at his head before skipping back to Em and Bella, giggling and let Em pick from the list and of course because Emmett's… well … Emmett! He picked number 2 so he goes into the changing room and after a few minutes we hear a very disturbing sound

"UGH!" and that sound was my idiot brother pretending to be constipated, what can I say when Em does something Em _does_ something.

"Phew, I really needed that. Hey, there's no toilet paper in here!" He yelled and people looked disgusted while Bella and I laughed and Emmett came out and shrugged "Oh, well." He said before shifting his pants.

Round 2

Bella decided that for the second round she would do number 7 so she went and hide in the clothes rack and waited before this woman came up and started looking through it

"PICK ME, PICK ME!" Bella yelled and the woman screamed and ran away "I SAID PICK ME BITCH!" Bella yelled after the poor woman (who would probably need therapy) before hiding in a different clothes rack and this time it was a man (who I sincerely hope was not shopping for himself)

"PICK ME, PICK ME!" Bella yelled again but this time the man pushed aside the clothes "Security!" He yelled and we all ran for it until we were in the clear and then I picked number 5 and walked up to an employee and said in a professional voice "We have a code 3 in the house wares." And watched as her face paled "Jessica Stanley is harassing the male employee's _again_? That's the fifth time this week." She muttered under her breath as she ran to house wares and Emmett, Bella and I started laughing when security started chasing us so we ran and Bella hide in a clothing rack while Em and I pretended to be mannequins, they ran right past us and this teenage girl came up and started looking at us so we decided to scare her.

"We vant to suck your blood." We said with a Dracula accent and she shrieked

"Y-Y-Your alive!" She exclaimed and we smirked before taking a deep- unneeded- breath

"WE'RE ALIVE!" We screamed in her face which made her scream and run away

"RUN BITCH RUN!" Bella yelled after her, coming out of the clothing rack

"Okay Em, your turn." I told him and he picked number 8 before walking around the clothing section, looking confused- which is how he usually looks- when this clerk came up and asked him if he could help him.

"WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!" He yelled and ran away 'crying'

Last round

Bella walked up to the check-out counter, bought some M&M's and, opening the bag, started chucking them at the cashier, screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

"Those are M&M's you crazy bitch!" The cashier yelled at her and Bella looked at the bag

"Oh, oopsie." She said, shrugging as the cashier called security and once again we all ran and ended up in the movie section where I bought The Ring before picking number 3 and the perfect time came when an announcement came on over the speaker and I dropped to the ground in the fetal position, screaming "NO, NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" and a little boy was staring at me like I was crazy- why do people keep doing that- so I leaned close to him and whispered "I see dead people." Before yelling "BOO!" and he ran off screaming while Emmett looked over the list trying to decided which one to pick so when it was twenty minutes later and he still hadn't, I feel absolutely no guilt for what I did.

"JUST F*CKING PICK ONE, ALREADY!" I yelled and he quickly picked number 9 and got a blanket and tied it around his shoulders before running around the store yelling "I'm batman. Come Robin, to the batcave!" but sadly we finally got caught by security and banned from Walmart, I also got tasered and carried out because apparently you can't refuse to move and then run while yelling "You'll never catch me coppers!" when they threaten to call the police they also don't like it when you yell out "I will not be silenced!" when their carrying you out but mark my words one of these days I will come back to Walmart while saying the line I've always wanted to say "I'm baaaaack, bitches!"

The End …?

Please review

Xxx Dark Goddess013 Xxx


	2. Pranks, Seven day and How rude!

Another Walmart story

Alice's Pov

Chaos filled the store. Mike Newton had fainted from fright, this guy was running away from Emmett who was dressed like one very ugly girl, an employee was rocking back in fourth in the fetal position, muttering about muscular, flat chested women on their period, the manager and all the employees were looking for a snake… that they were never going to find, Bella was having a conversation with herself with three different accents and me you ask, well, I'm tormenting Newton more then we already had. But wait, I'm being rude! You don't know what's going on so let's go back an hour so I can explain.

[One Hour Earlier]

"Bellaaaaa! Please?" I whined and she shook her head, stubbornly

"If you do this I won't take you shopping for two weeks." I offered and she agreed, rather excitedly… well how rude! So we got Emmett, came up with a new list, decided who was gonna do what and got the hell out of dodge… and boredom and booked our asses to Walmart. Now, I know what you're thinking 'Walmart? You all got banned from Walmart' but that's what's fun about it, we're gonna have to sneak around and cause mayhem. Let the games begin and let the hottest vampire win… so I'm going to win!

* * *

We snuck into Walmart and took out the list and Emmett decided to go first. He walked up to this guy and said "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god, it is! I haven't seen you in FOR-EV-A!" Emmett said in a high pitched girly voice before grabbing the back of his head and kissing him- and I don't mean no peck on the lips! I mean a full on kiss- before pulling back and slapping him, asking "Why didn't you ever call me?" and strutting away with his hips swaying like a girl with the guy staring after him, with his jaw to the ground and his eyes bugging out before mouthing to himself 'What the f*ck?' and shaking his head before walking away. It was Bella's turn next and she walked down a crowded aisle and 'checked out' a hot blonde girl

"Mah, oh mah, look at the ass on that chick!" She said loudly in a southern accent and whistled before turning her head to the right and sighing "Most you be so ghastly?" She asked herself in a British accent as everybody in aisle looked at her like she was crazy- finally it's not me! -

"Why yes I most." She answered back to the southern accent "Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta Stawbuckes and git a cawfee!" She exclaimed in a New York accent

"Will all of you just shut up?" She yelled, grabbing her head and storming out of the aisle and back to us

"Okaay then, my turn!" I exclaimed, jumping up and down, clapping my hands and put on a trench coat and sunglasses before walking up to this man browsing in the men's department and leaned close and said "The rooster is in the nest." And he turned and gave me a 'are you crazy' look- seriously why do people keep doing that? - before asking me "What you talking about, Willis?" I subtly handed him a cap gun

"Use this wisely. Roger is out." I whisper, giving a two finger salute before walking out of sight and taking off the coat and glasses as he spun around, unknowingly pointing the gun at a mannequin, looking for me and I came back out in to view.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I yelled and everybody looked at me weirdly as I ran

"Why is she running and yelling in slow motion?" The man asked and everybody shrugged as I tackled the mannequin to the ground before pulling both of us up and brushing myself off before standing there, tapping my foot, waiting "What? No, thank you? How rude!" I said before huffing and stalking away… how rude indeed! As I was walking back to Em and Bella, I got a vision of Mike Newton in the toothpaste aisle and a doll that looked like the girl from The Ring in the toy section before coming out of it and I smirked coming up with the perfect prank… as long as it doesn't scare him to death cause I'm sure they'll find some way to blame us for that. I got the doll and a walkie-talkie and ran- at human pace- to Em and Bella and told them the plan, Em was all for it but Bella no, no, she had to complain about it. God, she's so much more fun when she's hyper or drunk!

"I just think we've traumatized him enough, with what we did to him last week." She told us oh yeah that was frickin hilarious

[Flashback]

_It was a dark and rainy Friday night and we were looking at the scariest, ugliest, would have nightmares about it if we could, thing possible and that thing was… Mike Newton in pink, fluffy bunny pj's. Anyways we sitting outside his house in our car, watching him through the window waiting for the opportune moment for our prank and it had come. The idiot had decided to watch The Ring by himself, in a big, empty house. Can I get a "moron" please? So the movie ended and I called him and we watched him jump and scream, girlishly before answering it._

"_Seven days…" I said in a creepy, raspy voice and he screamed and dropped the phone before hiding behind the couch as I snuck in his house with a long, wet wig on and a white, old fashioned night gown that had a hidden camera attached. I stood in front of him with my hair dripping on him and he looked up and screamed when he saw me before his eyes rolled back and he fainted and I burst out laughing. Later that night we posted it on YouTube and it went on to get over a billon hits._

[End Flashback]

I shook my head as I came out of the flashback and rolled my eyes

"Come on Bella! The worst that could happen is it'll scare him to death but there's only a 30, 40% chance that'll happen." I told her and she gave me an incredulous look before sighing and giving in when she saw the stubborn glint in my eyes and I squealed, clapping my hands before we taped the walkie-talkie to the doll, put the hair over her face, activated the walkie-talkie and placed it on the shelf where Mike will walk past in three, two, one and… now

"Seven days…" I said in a creepy voice and Mike screamed and looked around only to scream and stumble into a shelf when he saw the doll, wetting his pants before getting up and running away "I'll find you!" I yelled after still with the creepy voice

* * *

Emmett ran up to a male employee with his legs crossed and squeezed together with tomato sauce trailing behind him and some on his pants and yelled "I need some tampons!" at the poor man who looked shell shocked before snapping out of it

"But Sir, a man can't get a period." The man told him gently, shaking slightly

"HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I'M A MAN JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE BREAST AND AM MUSCULAR!? I WILL BE SPEAKING TO YOU MANAGER ABOUT THIS! NOW, GET ME SOME TAMPONS, BITCH!" Emmett roared at him and the poor, poor man shook like a leaf before shakily grabbing the tampons and giving it to him and flinching when Em grabbed it.

"Thank you, cutie pie!" Emmett said, sweetly giggling like a girl before pecking him on the cheek and skipping towards us and the guy went into a fetal position, rocking back and forth, muttering to himself. We were trying to decide who would go next when Newton walked by us and Em and I turned to each other and smirked and I- using vampire speed- ran up to him and whispered in his ear "Seven days…" before running back to where I was before and we watched him shriek and jump, looking around before shakily walking away and we busted out laughing when we saw the brown spot indicating that he shit himself. I pulled out my phone and texted him and we watched as he jumped, read the text and screamed making the brown spot get bigger before he ran off to the bathroom and we started laughing even Bella couldn't help it.

"What did you text?" Bella asked still laughing and I chuckled

"I texted, _'You might want to check your pants. Ps: I know where you live, bitch. –S_' I got the idea from that great show Pretty Little Liars." I told them and after a few seconds Bella went up to this old lady and ran her hands all over her body while singing: You can't touch this, and the old lady gasped before hitting her with her purse and started chasing after her with all the while yelling at her.

"Go away, crazy old bitch!" We heard Bella yell and turned to each other and shrugged before Emmett picked a few items of clothes and went to the dressing rooms and when he came out I busted out laughing. He was wearing a sparkly, pink mini dress that showed off a lace g-string and pink pumps, that looked like they were going to snap any second, to complete the look. He went up to the poor guy he had kissed earlier and asked very seriously: "Does this g-string make my ass look big?" the poor guys' eyes bugged out again before he nodded very slowly and Emmett started 'crying'

"How could you say that to me!? Who asked you anyway!? Oh, I know, you said that because you want all this but you can't have it, well, guess again! Come here, baby!" Emmett exclaimed, holding out his arms and the guy screamed before running like a bat out of hell with the hell- otherwise known as Emmett- chasing him. I shook my head and went to go find Bella and after a few minutes I found her hiding behind a sofa. I rolled my eyes and grabbed her, pushing her towards a woman. She went up to her and tapped her on the shoulder, clearing her throat and the woman turned to her

"Have you seen my pet snake, he slithered away and I can't fin- Hey! Where are you going!?" She yelled as the woman ran away, screaming about a snake on the loose which caused everybody else that heard her to panic and run too

"She's running it's what normal people do when you tell them there's a snake on the loose. Idiot." Bella scoffed in a southern accent again

"How would _you_ know what normal is? Oh and if she's an idiot, then_ what_ the bloody hell are _you_?" She sneered in a British accent once again

"Gawd, when am I gawnna get my cawfee!?" She asked, nasally in a New York accent, I rolled my eyes and they landed on Mike Newton and I smirked before going to the woman's section and getting a long old fashioned white night gown and a wig before running at vampire speed in front of Newton and walking towards him, with my head tilted and he screamed and backed away, his heart picking up "I'm the little girl from the Well… I've been waiting…" I said in the creepy, raspy voice before stretching my hands towards his neck, slowly and he screamed and fainted as Bella came running up

"Alice!" Bella exclaimed and I rolled my eyes

"Relax, he's not dead… he's just unconscious… and possibly traumatized for the rest of his life. No biggie!" I said and looked around at the chaos filled store. Okay so now that you know the whole story we can get back on track. So in all the chaos Em, Bella and I sneaked out and went home and Carlisle and Esme never found out about.

No one's Pov

Later that night after all the chaos was over, the police, security and the manager were all sitting in his office trying to figure out who could have possibly have done all that when he got an E-mail and it read: You wanna know who did it? Mike Newton. You want proof? Click on the link. Your welcome! Xoxo –A, and when he clicked on it he found videos of Mike Newton doing all the things that lead to chaos. Now we know he didn't do it but shh they don't need know that.

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What are you still doing here? The stories over, go home! Shoo!

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Please review

I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU RECOGNIZE IT!

Check out my other stories!

Xxx Dark Goddess013 Xxx


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